Feliz Navidad You Idiota
by Falconflight
Summary: Taz hates Christmas. Everything from the stockings to the presents to the trees. So, needless to say, she's not happy when a Christmas party for the G. L. E. E. is announced. For FuzzehNomNom and FTWinterstorm.


_**OMDWSCG, can it be? Is Falconflight branching out into Starship fanfiction? Yes she it! I present to you my first Starship fanfic! And, of course, it's Christmas themed. **_

_**First off**__**, this is about a year before Up's injury and two years before Starship. **_

_**Secondly, I apologize ahead of time for any similarities in plot/character portrayl to Up and Taz in And they thought she'd never make it by hiddenangelheart, who is a fabulous author and sort of my idol for Starship fanfiction. So yes, a little may be very similar to that. Also, I don't own the title. That was created by my friend, FuzzehNomNom, who this fanfiction is partially dedicated to. **_

_**That being said, this is also dedicated to FTWinterstorm, another close friend of mine.**_

_**Happy Christmas/Hannukah you guys! ;)**_

* * *

><p><strong>Feliz Navidad, You Idiota<strong>

**Taz' POV**

Christmas. Even the name of the holiday sounded like commercialized bullshit. Taz, for some reason completely beyond her peers, hated Christmas with every fiber in her body. (The only holiday Taz hated more was Valentine's Day.) Taz had even hated Christmas when it was traditional and not commercialized. Her family used to sit in a circle on Christmas Eve and read their favorite passages from the Bible; Taz had always chosen the recently-added section about God's death. To make things worse, the new head of the Galactic League (Doctor Space Claw or something like that) had decided that it would be a good idea to throw a grand Christmas part for every member of the G. L. E. E. Attendance was mandatory. So, that was what led to a **very **pissed of Taz riding in a ship back to Earth with Up.

"The robots aren't throwing parties right now," Taz muttered.

"No one's arguing that fact," Up agreed. "This party is a stupid idea."

"Christmas is a stupid idea," Taz shot back angrily.

Up raised his eyebrows. "You don't like Christmas?"

"Are jou just now figuring that out?" Taz asked.

"I just assumed you weren't very religious," Up admitted.

"I hate everything about Christmas from the mistletoe to the "Sir, I Wanna Buy These Shoes" song," Taz answered, her voice full of loathing.

Up blinked with disbelief. "That song is sad, though!"

Just the thought of the cheesy song was enough to give Taz a headache. It was cheesy, phony, and a perfect example of how commercialized Christmas had become, and she couldn't believe that Up thought it was sad. She stared at him questioningly. A look of embarrassment flashed across his bright blue eyes, and Up looked down at his shoes.

"It's not that sad, anyway," he muttered.

The captain of the ship announced that they were landing. He asked everybody to buckle their seatbelts and to have a "very merry Christmas". Taz scowled slightly.

"Did you remember the present for the Secret Santa?" Up asked, trying to change the topic.

Taz nodded. That was another thing Taz hated about the new Ambassador. He had decided that there should be a Secret Santa gift exchange. She didn't even know the person that she had to buy a gift for, but if he was anything like all the other idiotas she knew, the only thing he cared about was the size of the present.

"Who did you get?" Up pressed.

"Some idiota named Hunior," Taz replied. She didn't care about the secret part too much.

Up frowned. "You mean _Junior_? His dad is the head of the Galactic League." Taz shrugged; she wouldn't care if the guy's dad was the president of what's left of the United States. "What did he want?"

"Wii," Taz answered.

"What did you get him?" Up asked, slightly horrified.

"Chocolate," Taz replied nonchalantly.

"Why?" Up demanded, distressed.

"Everybody loves chocolate," Taz explained simply.

"Until today, I thought everybody loved Christmas. What if he's allergic?" Up asked, worried.

"He won't eat it if he knows he's allergic," Taz snapped.

Up sighed. "You can't be that rude to the son of the head of the Galactic League. He could tell his dad, and he could suspend you from the Starship Ranger program."

"For getting someone chocolate?" Taz asked with disbelief. "I don't think I'd mind being fired, anyway. I don't want to stay if we're going to keep having these kinds of parties."

Up's eyes widened with shock. "I'd never see you, though."

Taz hadn't taken that into consideration. Up was one of the few perks of being a Starship Ranger. The two had always been assigned to the same missions because they worked so well together, and Taz couldn't remember the last time she hadn't seen or talked to Up for an entire today. She wasn't sure if she would be able to handle it.

"Okay, so maybe leaving wouldn't be such a good idea," Taz amended. "Christmas is still stupid, though."

**Up's POV**

He had always known that Taz was rude, disrespectful, and had a certain lack of respect for authorities. He hadn't known that she had the audacity to get the Ambassador's son chocolate. It wasn't a bad gift; Up liked chocolate. It was the Ambassador's son, though, and that wasn't a good thing. That meant the kid was even more selfish and spoiled, and he was probably used to getting what he wanted. Needless to say, Up was just a little bit worried about Taz' safety.

"Why?" Up demanded. Taz could be so infuriating sometimes.

"Everybody loves chocolate," Taz explained.

"Until today, I thought everybody loved Christmas!" Up exclaimed. "What if he's allergic?"

"He won't eat it if he knows he's allergic," Taz snapped.

_She makes a point, but still… _Up sighed. It was this sort of bluntness that Up found both amusing and frustrating. "You can't be that rude to the son of the head of the Galactic League. He could tell his dad, and he could suspend you from the Starship Ranger program."

"For getting someone chocolate?" Taz asked with disbelief. "I don't think I'd mind being fired, anyway. I don't want to stay if we're going to keep having these kinds of parties."

That stung. Up could tell that Taz was just upset about the party, but still… He couldn't believe that she would completely forget about all the perks of being a Starship Ranger so quickly. Actually, he could believe it. Taz lived in the moment; it was one of the things he liked about her. She never planned ahead, and she never looked back. It was sort of admirable, even though it proved to be quite irritating at sometimes.

Still, his eyes widened with shock. "I'd never see you, though."

A look of guilt flashed across Taz' eyes. "Okay, so maybe leaving wouldn't be such a good idea," Taz announced after a moment of consideration. "Christmas is still stupid, though."

Up smiled slightly. "Would you say that to people who like Christmas?"

Taz nodded without hesitation. Before she could respond, though, the captain informed them that they had arrived and it was time to leave. Then, he wished them a merry Christmas, which made Taz' glower intensify. Up decided that it would be a good idea to get off before Taz got angrier.

They got off the ship and walked into the building where the party was being held. Taz was glowering, and Up was trying to look cheerful. When Taz was angry, though, she had a way of draining all the other emotions from the room. The room where the party was was huge. One side of the room is entirely taken up by carts with food on them. There were long white tables that take up half of the room, and the other half was entirely empty aside from a few speakers. There was also a large tree hastily shoved into a corner surrounded by an island of presents.

Taz glared at the tree with disgust. "Dats not even a real Christmas tree!"

Admittedly, Taz was right. The tree wasn't real; it was aluminum and pink. Up didn't know which idiot decided to get a _pink _tree, but Taz didn't look happy with the decision. She was staring at the tree as if she was trying to set it on fire.

"Let's get some food," Up suggested, leading Taz away from the tree.

The party wasn't too bad, aside from Taz snapping at just about anybody and constantly commenting on how awful Christmas was. The food was good, and Up didn't mind not having anybody else to talk to. Taz was good company when she wasn't yelling at you.

"Attention everybody!" Someone at the front was speaking through a microphone. Up craned his neck to peer through the crowd. He saw Junior standing at the front. Since Doctor Space Claw couldn't make it to the party, Junior was in charge of all the festivities. "If you haven't done so already, please put your Secret Santa gifts underneath the tree so I can get my gift!"

"Selfish prat," Taz muttered.

"The Ambassador of the Galactic League's selfish prat," Up reminded her.

"But a selfish prat nonetheless," Taz shot back. "Can jou take my present to the tree? I don't want to go anywhere near that_ pedazo de mierda_."

Up decided not to ask what that meant and got up to put Taz' present under the tree. _I hope Junior likes chocolate, _Up thought as he put Taz' present near the trunk of the tree.

"Is everybody's present under the tree?" Junior asked after a couple of minutes. No one responded. "Good! Now, as the son of the most important person in the Galactic League, I think I'll go first."

Up grimaced as Junior walked over to the tree and began to look for Taz' present. Up saw Junior's smile falter slightly as he realized how small the present was. He must have known that is wasn't a Wii at that point. Junior tore apart the wrapping paper, and he looked crestfallen when he discovered its contents: a king-sized Hershey's chocolate bar.

"Oh." Junior tried to disguise his disappointment. "Well, I'm honored. Chocolate is often a sign of affection. What does this card say?" Junior had an orange piece of paper in his hands. "_Feliz Navidad_, you idiota." Some of the Spanish speakers giggled, but Junior did his best to ignore it. "Well, I don't speak foreign, but I'm sure that said something nice. Who's next?"

"It's Spanish, you _culo de vaca_," Taz muttered angrily.

Up didn't speak Spanish, but he had been around Taz to pick up a bit of it, especially her favorite insults. "Did you just call him a cow butt?"

Taz nodded.

It wasn't long before it was Up's turn. He wasn't too nervous; he didn't really care about presents too much. As he walked up, a girl with blonde hair stood up excitedly.

"Oh, you're getting my present!" she exclaimed happily. Then, her look of happiness turned to a look of horror. "Wait, you're not a girl!

_Does Up sound like a girl's name? _Up wondered, trying to ignore the fits of giggles that broke out. Even Taz seemed like she was trying to disguise her laughter.

"Uh, February, I think you missed the concept of a _Secret _Santa," Junior told her. Everybody laughed.

Up tried to block them out as he crouched down above a pink envelope. He opened it, and it turned out to be a $100 Spacey's gift card. He frowned. Why would he want this? Then, he remembered that February had thought he was a girl. That explained things a bit.

"I'll take it back if you don't want it!" February exclaimed.

Up continued to ignore her and walked back to his seat next to Taz. "Do you want this?" he asked.

Taz looked at him like he was insane. Maybe he was. It seemed like a gift most girls would want, but Taz wasn't most girls. Then, after a few more rounds of people going up and happily opening their presents (although one guy ran out screaming after receiving a t-shirt with a horse on it), it was Taz' turn. Up watched with interest as Taz grumpily got up and stomped over to the tree. Her back was to Up, so he couldn't see her immediate reaction to opening the present. When she walked back over, though, she had an all-knowing smirk on her face.

"I know who got dis for me," Taz whispered, holding up two dog tags on silver chains.

Up raised his eyebrows in mock surprise. "Who?"

For the first time since the Christmas party had been announced, Taz genuinely smiled. She rarely genuinely smiled anyway, so it warmed Up's heart to see the grin plastered on her face even though she had had a miserable time.

"You."


End file.
